Leaving Town Makes Me Sleepy-Sad – Day 24: Big Bear to Lake Overlook

This morning I told myself I’d get up and going quickly, and instead I lay in bed and then decide to completely repack my pack, searching for stashes of trash in pockets and replacing dirty ziplocks. I text Rawhide and she’s not moving quickly either – I get my things together and walk with my pack to her room, where she, Tarantino, Mousetrap and Mixed Bag have done little to get ready for the day. I chat with them as they pack and then realize I’d forgotten a pair of socks in my room and run back to retrieve them. Eventually we get ourselves together and go to the front desk to turn in our keys.

From there we head to the post office so Mixed Bag can pick up a package and others can send post cards. The plan is for all of us to share an Uber back to the trail. But then Mixed Bag returns and says his ankle is still hurting so he’s going to stay another day in town, at which point Tarantino confesses that his head is really hurting and he may stay behind too. They all decide to go to breakfast and Rawhide and I join them. In the restaurant we run into Scissors who says she’s going to hike out today too and would like to camp with us. 

Mousetrap requests a ride and shortly after the three of us are on the road. Rawhide feels a little sick in the car while I try to get a little nap in. 

When we get to the trailhead I realize I’m feeling sad and unmotivated. My brain and body seem to do this when we leave town. Mousetrap and Rawhide quickly get ahead of me and I’m letting my brain beat up on me when I run into Scissors taking a photo. I tell her I’m feeling sad and she asks if I want to walk with her a while so I do. We spend the rest of the day hiking together. She’s in a good mood but had a bad day the day before so empathizes with me but also chats about other things, which is nice. 

We do 13 miles and get to camp around 630. It’s cold, really cold, so I mostly stay in my tent. After I clean my pot from dinner my hands are cold and I warm them by a questionably-legal fire that some other hikers got going. I say hello and get their names but quickly retreat back to my tent. I have cell service, so I call Mark and talk in circles a little trying to articulate why I’m sad, but don’t really manage. When I hang up, I don’t write, I just roll over and go to sleep. 

6 responses to “Leaving Town Makes Me Sleepy-Sad – Day 24: Big Bear to Lake Overlook”

  1. Each year I pick three or four hikers to follow their story. Many years they drop out. Many years they succeed. I am writing to tell you that I am cheering for you. Your real life story is an inspiration, as I hope to begin my thru-hike in two years. Eat energy, begin each day with a big first step, you are going somewhere that most people will never, ever go. Just think what stories you will be able to tell your grandchildren… HYOH

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Luie! I hope your thruhike is everything you need it to be!


  2. Feel all the feels. You are so powerful and you are so capable. What is being human if you don’t feel all the feels?


    1. On my good days I feel this way. On my bad days I go FEELINGS ARE DUMB WHY MUST WE HAVE THEM


  3. It’s amazing to think that you’re nearly a month in now. Wow! Your brain naturally has ups and downs. That’s just part of the process. But you continue on, which is incredible. And courageous. You have a lot of fans who are pulling for you. Keep it up, girl.

    Liked by 2 people

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